It's not the best of times to be a mermaid.

I should have lived a hundred years ago.

Why ever should a sailor listen to a Siren's song

When he's got his own transistor radio?

It's not the best of times to be a mermaid.

Ships go so fast, and some can even fly.

So I sit upon my rock, weeping salt tears in the sea

And watch aerofoils and hovercraft go by.

However can you lure a navigator

Who never comes on deck to see the view?

When he's sitting at a console in the bowels of a ship,

Whatever can a lonely mermaid do?

I once thought I had caught a single yachtsman

Who came close enough to look me in the face.

But he couldn't spare a moment, he was in a frantic rush,

Competing in a transatlantic race.

A tanker once disturbed my lonely vigil,

Discharging crude. They knew that I was there.

For the Captain was so kind, he sent a bottle of shampoo,

Designed to cope with extra oily hair.

At least, I have a tail and golden tresses,

Not like my friend, who'll never get her wish.

For her legs are really beautiful, the loveliest of all.

But she has the head and body of a fish!

It's not the best of time to be a mermaid...